Self Compassion
Having Self Compassion Towards Oneself
Self-compassion means showing kindness to yourself. It means accepting yourself for who you are, imperfections and all.
According to Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.
Self-empathy doesn’t mean abandoning self development and personal growth. All things considered, it’s tied in with understanding that we are a work in progress, with qualities and shortcomings, and it is ok. It is very easy for us to show empathy to others without the slightest hesitation and without giving it a second thought. Envision that your significant came home and said I got fired today. What is the first thing that you do? You most likely listen to their story. You console them. You give them support. You don’t pass any judgment on your companion. You do not put them down. You show compassion. You tell tell them how great they are.
For some individuals, showing empathy to others is very simple. Most of us have the ability to show kindness and understanding to most people we know.
Simultaneously, many of us have mercy towards other people, yet, unforgiving of ourselves. We hold ourselves to such high standards that we do not even see when are self sabotaging. We often criticize ourselves for our imperfections and flaws; Yet, we are able to show compassion towards others for the same flaws and imperfections. A great deal of us battle when it comes down to showing empathy to the self. Would you ever treat a friend, partner, significant other with no value? Most of us would not mistreat those we claim to love as if they have no self worth. It is not acceptable for us to mistreat ourselves. It is not acceptable for us to think negatively of ourselves or bad mouth ourselves. For many people it is like a bad habit that they cannot part with. They cannot help themselves. It is still unacceptable. We have to work a little harder to acquire self compassion. We only have one life, and we only live once.
Practicing self compassion implies treating yourself generously, gently, and and reasonably. Treat yourself like someone you love. Treat yourself kindly, without any judgement. Many of us focus on our flaws instead of who we are and what have to offer. As human beings we are all special. We all have something that makes us unique from the next person. Often times we ignore those unique traits. It is easy for some of us to see the good in others but not in ourselves. Self acceptance is a key player in our happiness. If you do not accept yourself, who should? Every individual who is alive and breathing fresh air deserves to be on this planet. It is imperative that we show love to ourselves. It is important that as adults that we learn to validate ourselves and not wait on others to validate us. Children may need validation. Self acceptance means to accept yourself as you are, imperfection and all. Perfection does not exist. Everyone has flaws and imperfections period. We all fall short.
Albert Ellis and Carl Rogers indicated that self-worth conditioning is related to psychological distress, but unconditional self-acceptance promotes the personal adjustment and well-being (according to Flett et al., 2003).
Contemporary research on individual differences in unconditional self-acceptance indicates that low unconditional self-acceptance is detrimental to well-being and, in some cases, could lead to some mental
disorders.
We often hear people say they love others unconditionally. We have to love ourselves unconditionally. How can we say we love others unconditionally and does not extend it to ourselves? Accepting yourself not only means to treat yourself with kindness, it also means to take care of yourself. For example, eating healthy, exercise, and get enough rest. At the end of the day, no one is perfect. Whether we accept who we are or not, we will continue to exist. Why not be kind to yourself? We all have an obligation to practice kindness towards ourselves. Treat yourself like you matter. We all matter.
Unfortunately, practicing self compassion is not easy for many, but we can always learn with time. Learning self compassion will require patience and to be non judgmental towards the self. I do believe self compassion is achievable with practice and over time. Be patient with yourself.
Thank you to all of those choose to follow me and read my articles. It is highly appreciated. Be grateful for yourself.
